I am never alone. I am always being watched even when no one is around. I lived with a high level of paranoia every day but could never figure out why until recently.
When I wrote to you earlier this summer, one of my only posts for the past 5 months I expressed how laws needed to change in order for the children of this nation to have privacy especially when they are playing in their own home or yard.
I wish I could sit here and write you and say things got totally better and we all lived happier ever after, but that is not life. Life is no modern fairy tale. To be honest it got worse before it got better.
One of the lowest points happened about a month ago. We went out to water the garden and let the kids play in the front yard since Greg was home. We were all having such a great time. As a parent when my kids scream out with joy and laughter it just warms my heart.
Then we heard, “Shut the F&!$ Up!” Greg peered around the house to see our tormentor, our neighbor sitting on his stairs. Greg said, “My kids my problem, don’t talk to my kids.” In response, we got nothing but unkind, derogatory name-calling kind of words. Greg snapped. After 5 months of this type of behavior and this man verbally attacking his family, he couldn’t sit by idly anymore.
I got him to calm down eventually, and we sent the kids inside as we finished watering. I text the other neighbors who saw what was going on and apologized for our behavior that evening.
Later that night I was lost and didn’t know what to do. We were told by 3 sheriffs officers not to call again unless we were physically harmed. We were even told by a few of them that we just need to suck it up because he has been evicted and just wait until he leaves.
I ended up looking up the DA office in our county. He is already facing felony charges and I felt they needed to know his behavior while he was out on bond. I finally found a random e-mail on their site and sent a lengthy e-mail. I explained everything we have been through, that I wasn’t looking for more charges to be brought against him, but more so how do I legally protect my family.
By the next morning, I got a response. She said she was looking into it. She contacted the local sheriff’s office to find out what was going on. I was so relieved someone was willing to help someone was willing to listen, someone didn’t just write the issue off.
A few days later I got a call from a random number thinking it was my dental office calling to reschedule. To my surprise, it was the undersheriff of the county. Yes, my first thought was, “What now!” but to my surprise he wanted to come out and talk to Greg and me about what has been going on.
Come to find out there were no reports ever filed. Not one concerning our calls, not one concerning any of the sheriff’s visits out here, as far as he was concerned everything was peaceful and fine in our neck of the woods. Until he got the email from the DA. He was not a happy boss, he was not pleased with what we had to say especially when we told him we were told to not call unless we were physically harmed.
He was here for a good hour if not more, he gave me his card and said to call him anytime. He told us we should file for a protective order just to be on the safe side, and that if what we are saying ever gets caught on camera with or without a protection order our tormentor/neighbor will be arrested for harassment and should have already been.
Our tormentor went back to court for his felony charges and still did not take the plea, however when he got back he no longer bothered us. It could have been the under sheriff or something that happened in court, we will never know but he left us alone and that is all I wanted for months.
He did move out at the end of July. When he was gone we found cameras on his property pointed at our house and the road. Plus the other neighbors house that accused him of stocking.
Now I know why I always felt watched, why I felt never alone, now I know I wasn’t just paranoid, now I know he was just as bad as I thought.
It will take months to get over this feeling of paranoia. It will take months to feel safe in my own house again. It will take months of reminding myself I don’t have to look over my shoulder, but the healing has begun.
He has moved away, he can’t come near this property, he can no longer watch my kids as they play or yell profanities at them. He can no longer tell my husband how much he enjoys watching me and the kids to get a rise out of him. He is gone.
I really hope one day I can trust in the blue shield again. Unfortunately, after this I realized how many of them are corrupt and how few of them are good. They can’t just make up their own rules because they are in a uniform. They can not go around making people pay for protection (protection orders) when their job is to protect and serve. They can not tell a victim to suck it up because it will be over soon.
There are rules and guidelines for every job including those that wear a badge. To me, a good cop honors those rules and guidelines, and are good and trustworthy cops because of it.
I really hope I never have to call the local sheriff’s office again. I never had to call in Colorado Springs, Westminster, Littleton, Casper, Evansville, and Wichita Falls all places I have lived since I was 19, so 16 years. The only place I called the cops was when I lived in Aurora because I thought someone was breaking in but it turned out it was just raccoons in the attic.
As for where we stand now it is time to write a new chapter of our life. Turn the page and begin again. Good and bad things always happen in life it is what you make of the moments that matter in the end. That is why I am choosing to move forward, maybe change some laws to better protect our kids, and keep sharing stories for people to learn from our mistakes.