Welcome to my new journey! The title kind of says it all. 2019 is the year I am going to get my shit together… well at least try. How about you?
Do you find yourself struggling whether it be financially? How about self-care and self-love? Or maybe 2018 has you questioning your entire life and all the choices you have made thus far? Do you feel lost? Ready for a change?
If any of these things resonate with you then this series is for you!
But first, I heard this crazy thing if you get personal and vulnerable with your reader, they are more likely to relate and embrace your journey. So here it goes.
How I got here
I was in the dental field for 12 years. Worked for some amazing practices in Denver, Casper, and Texas. Many of those years I was happy, but there is a lot of corruption and bad politics in dentistry just like any medical profession. I got in the field to help people not to create more fear or alter insurance claims to gain profit. So, I can say I have my fair share of unhappy work days and not so great bosses.
I guess that’s why when my pregnancy got rough and I ended up on bed rest the last 6 weeks I was slightly relieved. However, I arranged, paperwork and all, to come back once my Dr. cleared me and my boss, the dentist of the practice, got back from seeing family overseas. When I got cleared to come back to work 5 weeks after my healthy baby boy was born, I was surprised to hear my boss filled my position. Yep, I was jobless.
To top that off 2 days before losing my job my daughter psych eval came back that she has what is formally known as Asperger’s syndrome currently known as high functioning autism. Topping all this off the school district we were in at the time did their own evaluation and went against her medical records and instead of marking her as autistic they marked her emotionally disturbed.
In the end, losing my job was a blessing since we had to go to a private behavior therapy facility for her medically recommended ABA treatment. If I had a job and limited availability, she wouldn’t have gotten the care she received, and she wouldn’t be thriving the way she is now.
However, that was the beginning of our financial troubles. Beginning of 2017. Going from 2 paychecks to 1, going from 1 kid to 2, plus additional medical bills (even with insurance behavior therapy is not cheap). But! How is one to choose between making money and taking care of their child when even though they should go hand in hand the hands just don’t fit together.
Then 2018 hits. My husband finds out he is going to be laid off after 8 years with his company a year after it got bought out. When the companies contract at one wind farm was over, they did send him to another wind farm 2 hours from home. This was a temporary gig because the company also lost that contract too and were to close in a few months. There was no per diem so hotel, gas, food, and all that jazz was out of our personal budget. Let’s just say that was more than 1/2 his checks even if he commuted to and from work every day. Then he was officially laid off in the spring.
Not only did we go from a 1 paycheck household to a no paycheck household, but we also lost our insurance. We looked into getting Cobra but that was $300 more than unemployment a month. Then we looked into getting Medicaid for the kids, found out that it would not cover our biggest monthly expense our daughters ABA therapy.
Luckily our daughter was already established at the behavior therapy facility and the staff was able to find her a scholarship and worked out a payment plan with us, so we could continue her care. But still, how do you pay for something with no money coming in.
That is when my stress got bad, and my tunnel vision panic attacks started to happen. I would stay up at night and cry until there were no tears left. Afraid my kid would not have a roof over their head, wondering how I would afford groceries, wondering where we went so wrong.
Trust me less than 5 years ago our finances were on point, never a late bill, never had collectors calling, never worried about the accounts. We never borrowed more than we could pay back. We were always on top of things.
Really where did it go so wrong? Probably when the medical and moving bills started piling up. Our daughter had two major surgeries before she was 4, due to respiratory issues. Then the money pit of a house we bought sight unseen, never do that, trust me, even with inspections never a good idea.
Where ever our downfall was, it happened. I never thought it would, but it did. I thought I was prepared ready, but I was wrong.
Well to wrap up this story my husband did find a job he took a pay cut and had to travel we only saw him for 5 days every 6-8 weeks. But we needed the insurance. I would say the pay but honestly, he made more with unemployment.
Then one day he got a call. A once in a lifetime call, one we have been waiting years for. A call that would move us back closer to family, a job that was close to the pay he was making pre-layoff, a job that he could be around for the kids more, one that we can be a family again. The only downfall is since he was on a 6-month trial with a third-party hiring agency there would be no moving credit, so the move would have to come out of our dwindling accounts.
On the plus side getting hired on with the company sounded promising since they would pay 10’s of 1,000 in training. What company does that? Only the ones that are truly interested in you… Right? We all know I have been wrong before.
So, what did we have to lose? We accepted the job made repairs on the house and put it on the market. The hubby left to start his new job while the kids and I stayed put for school and until the house sold.
It only took a few months and we were under contract with a 30-day close. We got a U-Haul or two and moved all our stuff from Texas to Eastern Colorado.
To say I feel that 2018 chewed us up and spit us out is pretty on point. I am just happy in the end it spits us out and gave us another chance. A chance to thrive, a chance to succeed, and a chance to take our lessons from our past and put them to use, a chance to get our shit together.
One thing I did realize when I can out of all this is somewhere in the last decade, I lost myself. I lost my identity because my identity was my job, kids, and husband. I have been living lost, walking around with a smile like everything is butterflies and rainbows when deep down I didn’t like who I was because I did not know who I was.
So now what?
Time to get My Shit Together! Get back on track financially, mentally, physically and all that good stuff.
- This series won’t be hey I got out of debt and this is what I did and how you can do it too. It won’t be numbers or selling and pitchy stuff. No instead it is going to be a series of things I am trying out, things I feel are working, and things that I am even failing at.
- This series will be about struggles and successes in finance and personal growth.
- This series will be real life, sometimes venting, sometimes chatty, but real.
I will share:
- what apps, programs, templates I am using and how they are helping me stay on track, and which ones were a waste of my time. (most of which will be free)
- Tips and tricks to saving money
- How I am learning to take time for myself without taking time away from my family
- The steps I am taking to discover who I am and what I am becoming
And I hope you will share your stories with me as well because I know there are many families out there like mine. Families that are struggling in some way shape or form. Mothers that lose their identity in the hustle of life. People that are just living lost because life has dealt them a few bad cards. We are not alone in our struggles.
Life always has a way of working itself out. There will be struggles and you will get knocked down a time or two, but it is what you do after you get back up that defines you. So, let’s make this year a defining year and get our shit together!
P.S. Most other posts will be much shorter then this one!