Hey mama! I hope this new year brings so much joy to you! I hope this new year brings on new exciting challenges that are forever life-changing! I hope you can look back and say man it was truly a blessed good year. Quit the old and let’s start a new!
For many of us, the years just seem to get harder and harder. We find ourselves asking are we ever going get a break! I am done with the bad and ready for the good.
How do I know what you have been thinking, because I am there too. Not been there, not have gone through it… no, I am there right now. However, at the end of last year, I was so done with waiting. I decided if things were going to change then I was going to create that change instead of just waiting and hoping for fate to jump in.
I decided to quit. Yes, you heard me quit… quit my life, quit my planes, quit my thoughts… just quit.
If you really look at your life is it really that bad? To be honest, I have a great one that has taught me many amazing lessons. But! I need a change. A life struggling to try to get by, a life trying to make people happy that don’t respect or appreciate me, a life feeling like I must choose between being a mom that’s there or a mom that provides. I decided to quit that life. My family and I deserve better!
We all have plans! I quit my plans; I want more. I want my kids to have more. I don’t mean things I mean more life experiences and memories of us together.
During times of struggle, it is hard to view yourself in a positive light. You don’t have to hate yourself to have negative thoughts of one’s self or the world. Let me tell you one thing one’s thoughts are the hardest thing to correct. So, I decided to quit my thoughts and give them a daily reboot.
So, You Quit Now What
As bad as the phrase quit my life sounds it can be a good thing as long as it is not a self-harming state of mind.
Late last year things were said to my face that were just rude, cruel, and mean. I let those words get to me because they were people that I cared deeply for. Well, now I know how
deeply they care for me.
After a week of just feeling like crap about myself, feeling like a waste of space, a completely helpless person I woke up and said no more.
- No more being there for people that don’t have my back.
- No more letting words from people who clearly do not know me get to me.
- No more wasting my time on people that find me to be a waste.
- No more going out of my way just to hope one day they will respect me.
Here is something that is obvious but never really said, this world has lots of people in it. Just because a handful doesn’t respect you or appreciate you doesn’t mean others won’t. So instead
- Find your tribe, get yourself out there and find like-minded and hearted individuals that will talk you up instead of talking you down.
- Stop listening to any negative thing that is spoken about you or to you that is nonconstructive
- Spend your time volunteering to charities you feel passionate about
- Find purpose in everything you do that is more than finding respect.
We all know how great plans can be, but sometimes they don’t work out and it can bring you down. That is why I put quite plans on my list.
- No more planning what I am going to do in 3, 5, 10 years because I may die tomorrow and I don’t want my kids saying, “It would have been nice if she played more or was around more.”
- No more planning my retirement. Disclaimer: still save that is a great thing. However, I may be dead before I can enjoy it so it being a top concern needs to go.
- No more planning to plan a plan. Yes, I love lists and being organized but let’s face it most plans never go as planned.
Spending your life focused on plans is really no way to live. If you are so focused on the future and things that are on a list how are you living? Instead:
- Have flexible goals instead of the future. For every goal, you set for life set one for your family. An example I want to be debt-free in 3 years and in 3 years I want to take my kids to Disney land to experience another first. Life is more than just money its about memories!
- Have a retirement account and let it do its thing. Review it every quarter then let it be. There is nothing wrong with being prepared, but there is something wrong when it is one of your top concerns daily.
- Have your lists be more practical, don’t bog yourself down on a daily trying to be a super mom, your kids and family want your time more then they want a 5-star gourmet meal or the house shinning.
It is amazing how much our thoughts dictate our life. We think negatively typically our days are hard. We think mah we just can’t wait to get the day over. We think positive typically nothing will get us down.
Like I said before this one is the hardest one to kick. However, the truth is our thoughts are powerful things. Once we put our mind to something it is hard for anything to get in our way, that is when the impossible becomes possible. Therefore
- No more believe the words out of other people’s mouth
- No more waking up in the morning saying, “Shit another day another dollar, let’s get it over with.”
- No more thinking you are only as good as your worst day.
Allow yourself to view yourself as more!
- Remind yourself that you are more than just words. If the people speaking them can’t even tell you your favorite color or your favorite thing you do when your kids are out of the house, then chances are they have a lot more to learn about you so why do those words matter? AND on that same note remember your words are powerful too only speak positively to others, and if you don’t know them well never speak of there character.
- I once had a patient say “Leah, today is a good day! Do you know how I know? My feet touched the ground reminding me I had a chance to live.” I passed that along to another patient who said, “Leah, you were miss informed. The good day starts long before your feet touch the ground. You know it will be a good day when the light stings your eyes awake. That is when you know you are alive to live another day.” These were both old-timers with many years on their belts, and I will always be grateful for their lesson. Everyday lived is a day worth living, don’t waste it wake up and say, “Good morning!”
- Life has a way of showing you your true colors. Sometimes those colors are not the prettiest, that’s okay. We are all flawed we all make mistakes. One bad move doesn’t define you. Live, learn, do better and become the person you want to be.
Yes, I could put start a gratitude journal or say daily affirmations. Take up meditating or yoga. Devote time to self-care and really appreciate yourself. But! You have all heard those before and for some they work and others not so much.
The truth is at the end of the day you need to know you, trust you, and be there for you. Do whatever you have to, to show yourself how incredible you are!
I hope in the new year you find the things that are holding you back and you quit them. I hope you have a fabulous year; I hope you find strength and hope in the toughest of times. I hope you find peace and clarity in the happiest of times. This thing called life we are all living isn’t easy, but it is sure worth it!