Let’s just say it how it is… last year was hard… last year was nothing we expected it to be… last year it was nearly impossible to accomplish our goals… last year was nothing we expected it to be. Now it’s time for a New Year.
I know many of us counted down to the end of the year ready to get back to normal, but as I sit here and reflect on that thought and this past year I think we need to take a moment and appreciate the lessons learned through all the hard times.
Counting Down to the End of the Year and Starting a New Year
The year may come to an end but that doesn’t mean the madness and chaos will. Just because the year has ended doesn’t mean a restart button is pressed and covid-19 disappears, racism disappears, and our government will all of a sudden become kind, honest and competent. Sorry that is not going to happen.
My reflection on the Word “Normal”
What is normal? Walking around in our own little bubble of ignorance ignoring how others are being treated. Only worrying about what you do, what you say, and how you act? Sorry, I don’t want things to go back to “normal.” This country has come so far but the older I get the more I realized how many people are in it for themselves. No one holds the door open for others anymore or says thanks their waitress. Your best friend could be suffering but you are so worried about your own problems you don’t even notice. If going back to normal means going back to selfish ways I will pass.
I would rather create a “new normal,” one filled with old school morals, one that helping thy neighbor is cool, one that self-care is not put before family care and volunteering.
The Lessons I Learned in 2020 and Bring into the New Yer
I am a firm believer that the best lessons come from hard times and if you are willing to learn from those lessons then you will grow in ways you could not imagine
As much as it pains me to say this past year is what many of us needed (minus the deaths no one needed or deserved that). I think a lot of people got caught up in materialistic things, I also think that many people got too used to being constantly busy. This pandemic forced us to start focusing on what we have and being grateful for the small things, slowing down, and having family time. I hope moving forward we continue to embrace all these things.
I hope we learned to be more flexible with life and pivot when needed without life throwing us off balance.
Lesson 1: At the end of the day all that matters is you and the ones you love are safe and healthy.
Time is precious. We never know how much time we have on this planet. We never know the last time we will hug the ones we love or hear their voice. I honestly think that got lost in the business of the world. We were all go go go trying to make ends meet. We were all busy keeping up with the Jones making that next dollar trying to stay afloat we forgot to stop and appreciate those around up. Their laugh, their smile,their tears, their presence.
There were many of us that were frustrated about job loss, overwhelmed with financial stress, and devastated with added debt. However, this too shall pass as long as you and the ones you love are alive and healthy you can always pick up the pieces and rebuild.
Lesson 2: You can’t fix someone’s ignorance unless they are willing to listen, grow, and change.
This year things such as racism and privilege could no longer be ignored.
Here is the deal I will stand up and fight for equality to ensure ALL children get equal education, ALL people can apply and have opportunities for any job they qualify for, I will fight for true equality meaning no more white only or black only scholarships, no more white only or black only entertainment, I will fight for love not hate, not destruction. I will judge you based on your actions, how you treat others around you, and the words that come out of your mouth not the color of your skin, gender, ethnicity, or sexuality.
However, I am done fighting and arguing with people that think they are above it all. I am done reading social media feeds full of hate speech (both white and black) I am done with people disrespecting other people just because their skin colors or opinions don’t match… it is the most ridiculous thing on the planet, and sorry but I have better things to do with my time because you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.
Racism does not discriminate. We all have privileges that we take for granted and if we want to have true equality we all must learn from our past mistakes, accept each other for who we are and how we look, and think before we post, speak, and act.
Lesson 3: You will only heal if you want to heal, you will only grow if you want to grow, and you will only get out of life what you put into it.
We all have three lives: the public, what you share with everyone, the private, what you share with some, and the secret, what you share with few or no one. I love sharing my life with all of you, and occasionally I let you into even my private life.
However, I only let you see what I want you to see. My secret life has a lot of other people in it with their stories. Some of these stories have caused trauma in my life. These are stories I don’t share, not because I don’t want you to see my flaws but because reminesing doesn’t help me move forward. This year my biggest lesson was just because it is not out in the public doesn’t mean it never happened or does not exist.
I have kept a lot buried for many years and this year I snapped, I lost it, it all became too much and everyone learned that this quite, composed, soft spoken women has been listening all along and is done, unfortunately it cost me some people but what is this life always pleasing others when all they want to do is use you to make them look better or tear you and your kids down every chance they get?
If you ignore all that angers you, if you blow off all the negative words spoken about you, if you bury all your feelings just to please others you will never be happy with yourself and you will never truly heal.
Setting boundaries has not been easy, because even with that comes pain, being called controlling because I won’t let others control my life. After many tears I came to realize I don’t need those people in my family’s life, we are not verbal punching bags for their bad days, and we have plenty of people that love us, accept us and our boundaries, with respect and kindness.
Those were my top 3 lessons from the past year, and honestly there are so many more but I think I will leave it at that and give you the rest of the monthly scoop.
January Monthly Scoop
Look Ahead: In 2021 there is a lot of NEW coming to the MCB and I am super excited about it and can’t wait to share! But not yet… what is life without a little surprise.
Life Scrambles: The kids have been back and forth between remote learning and face to face learning… making life a bit crazy but I am loving every minute of it.
Work has been steady and I am counting my blessing everyday for our health, and our well being. We may not have much but we have all we need and that is plenty to me!
Reading: I am in the middle of 3 books 🤓, Unfu*k yourself (self-help), Go Set a Watchmen (Audio bedtime story), Everybody Always (Audio Motivation).
Watching: Getting caught up on the last 3 seasons of the Blacklist on Netflix.
Hooked on: Slowing down and being present in the moment. Yeah work may be delayed and my house may not be a show house anymore, but I am learning so much about myself, my kids, and just life… it is really blissful!
Excited for: 2021.. I know there are going to be struggles and a lot of ups and downs, but I am ready to make the most of what is to come!
Future Goals: Since it is the start of a new year I am going to share my yearly goals… continue my journey to become debt free, get back in shape, learn to manage my stress more, and just grow as a person.
Until Next Month