Well, guys, 2019 is drawing to an end. Which means time to start a new year, filled with new chapters in a new book. A lot of focus around this time of the year is goals from the upcoming year, but I want to change it up a bit and look back on what 2019 has taught me.
My word for 2019 was re-build. Re-build financially. Re-build self-love. Re-build the blog and business. Re-build life in general after the past few years of being on a roller coaster and it felt like we crashed in the end. As I always say we are blessed enough to be given a chance to re-build.
The journey is still one that is ongoing, especially the financial. Since we lost everything after my husband and I both lost our jobs, which depleted our emergency fund and our savings. We downsized and moved to a small mobile home in the middle of nowhere located on the eastern planes of Colorado.
Moving from our beautiful 2300 square foot home with hand scrapped original hardwood floors, brick walls, 2 fireplaces, with a great size galley kitchen; to a small 3-bedroom, 2 bath 1400 square foot trailer has not been easy.
When I see the photos from some amazing bloggers on Instagram about styling their houses during the holidays. The openness of their homes, the beauty in it all, but most of all the shelves I am jealous of since my landlord won’t let us hang anything, that requires putting a hole in the wall.
Now, with my jealousy shared I must say it has taught me that nothing is guaranteed. You can plan and plan, you can think that life is great, and you are secure and lose it all in a flash. It has also taught me that next time we buy I want to pay off the house in 5 years, I don’t want the burden of losing another beautiful home we work so hard to create lost for my whole family. So, the Get Your Shit Straight Financial and Self Love series will continue into next year, but with more of a how I am planning, paying off, and savings; opposed to options to consider.
Re-building the blog and business this year was more about consistency and just being there for you guys. From new simple family recipes to menus along with some mom life stuff. Thanks to all your love and support our numbers every month have double if not quadruples which is beyond what I pictured at the beginning of the year. So lesson learned, listening and working hard always pays off.
As for self-love and life lessons of this year. Being a mom is very thankless. You sacrifice a lot and I believe that’s how it should be. However, this year I have learned mama needs some quite every day and that bubbles baths are nice too. To get what I need I sacrifice, I get up early or stay up late. The time I have with my kids is precious and they will only want me around for a few more years, so I am going to cherish every moment I can. There will be plenty of time for girls’ nights and date nights in the years to come.
The life lesson was a hard one. I am the type of person that loves wholeheartedly, I am sensitive, and take words for what they mean (I am not a read between the lines type of person). That is why letting people go is so hard for me.
Earlier this year I was at a party, it was winding down and two of the ladies said I could join them. As I sat there, they proceeded to just bash everyone they were discussing and talking themselves up at the same time. I just sat there pretty much in silence zoning out from time to time because I learned years ago life is too short to be that petty.
Then they turned it on me. Said I was just like the people they were bashing and to add insult to injury added that if my husband ever leaves me, I would be a pushover. I was taken back, I mean I thought these people liked me, I thought I could trust them… do they not know how rude they are? I was stunned and said nothing.
A few weeks went by and I was on the phone with one of the ladies and I brought up how I did not appreciate the names and insults they threw my way. That was when she said, that I took it the wrong way, that they said that because I rely on my husband to help with our kids and our house, that they feel I can’t do anything on my own. So, it was my fault for feeling so sensitive for the words spoken and I needed to change MY WAYS and just let it roll off my back.
Guys, this is where the lessons come in. First, be careful with your words if someone finds your words insulting it is never THEIR fault it is yours because the words came out of your mouth. If you wouldn’t want what you’re saying spoken about you never speak it about someone else.
The second lesson, which I think Jay Shetty a former monk put it best
“We’ve all been through challenging situations where we realize who cares and who doesn’t. There is a beautiful poem that expresses how people in our lives are like a part of a tree. You have the leaves, the branches, and the roots. The people that are like leaves on a tree leaves. They were only meant to be in our lives for a temporary period. Leaves like most friendships are amazing in the beginning, but take more than they are willing to give and offer very little support and help especially through troubled seasons… People who are like branches are the ones that say, “I’m here for you. You can depend on me” but as soon as things get a little tough, they break off because they can’t handle the weight… The people that are like roots are permanent. These are the people that go through everything with you. They go to hell and back. They break apart, fall apart only to build again. Only to refuel and reenergize you with what you need…”
This goes for both family and friends’ guys. Sometimes you just need to let the leaves blow away and the branches break. If people in your life are not building you up, if they are knocking you down just to build themselves up then let them go. Even if you were their roots, even if you were the one rebuilding and refueling them because the tree itself is toxic and killing off its roots.
The best part of this analogy is that roots spread they can support more than one tree. However, if one tree is toxic and spreads to the roots what good is a damaged root to all the other trees it supports.
It only took me 34+ years of many damaged relationships due to my lack of trust in people to realize where this all came from. Now that I know I am stopping it. I want to “a better root,” for the people that have been there through my hard time, and that starts only when I break the connection from what is damaging me.
I am a firm believer to live in the present, remember the past, and look forward to the future. I don’t believe in forgetting your6+ past because if it wasn’t for it you would not have the knowledge you have today. All the lessons learned from your past guide you toward a brighter future. Ignoring the bad and getting nothing out of it does nothing for your future except make you a bit bitter.
So, what has this 2019 taught you? What are some of the positives you can get out of those lessons?